Perpetual Flux

With the end of this month drawing to a close, I can officially say it has been the most unique month of my life. As the title suggests, I have been living in a state of perpetual flux. A period of completely unstructured time, and even less responsibility, has lead me to essentially have had the world in my hands. This thought is the lighter side of my psyches recent experiences, and what I deem the cause of some of my highest highs. But as the saying goes, “With the highest highs come the lowest lows.” Seemingly endless time, has recurrently left me fully isolated and submersed in my thoughts; deep thoughts inherently lead to realization and conclusions. Not all of which I have come to have been pretty, or exactly spot on.

In the middle of summer, a romantic relationship I cherished more than any I have found myself in before, came to a close. Not because of any negative feelings or wrongdoings, simply because of geographical distance. “Man’s Search for Meaning’ by Viktor E. Frankl, is the novel I am currently using to entertain my outlook on life. Frankl, a Jewish psychologist authored this chronicle after a stay in, then liberation from, Auschwitz. His main point is “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” His “whys” are work, dignity, and love. Although my thoughts for weeks were filled with doom and gloom from rather compulsively missing the aforementioned, rewarding experiences, Frankl’s wisdom, and getting back in touch with flying solo carried me through my sad period and I am now feeling refreshed and as independent as ever. :]

In this past month, I have had periodic conversations with family members more or less about self-confidence. One of them repeatedly mentions her wish of obtaining more. As some of you know, I am a talker, and thoroughly enjoy sharing advice when I see the opportunity to do so productively. This nagging, unfulfilled wish of hers got me thinking. Self-confidence is not a stagnant concept. It is a quality that must be built, it is something that must be continually fed to obtain. Break-ups, especially from super fulfilling and wholly good relationships, undoubtedly lower emotional morale and provide space for soul-crushing pity parties, trust me I know. But the doors that open when you are done crying are massively opportunistic. They allow you to truly discover your “why,” unconditionally influenced by anyone else.

Another interesting complex I have transitioned to is being the youngest in social groups I find myself in, rather than the oldest. This has given me insight on the “real world” so to speak. Being constantly surrounded by people your own age puts being an adult on a pedestal of sorts, it turns adulthood into this goal we are all constantly striving for but also gravely dreading. I have come to realize that in almost every sense of the word, I am an adult. I always thought people were constantly changing until they became who they were. I now understand that some people developmentally have stopped and will be forever content with stagnancy and that some people will never stop their quest for personal growth. I hope to be one of the latter!

Now, for the lighter side of things! Throughout these past 30 days, (roughly) I have been lucky enough to do odd jobs for lots of my parents’ friends. I have done everything from minting coins and squeezing farm-fresh honey-aid, to landscaping. For me, waking up and getting to do something very different than what I did the day before, every single day, has been super fun! I love meeting and working with new people. Everyone has something to offer and there is a lot to learn through one-on-one conversations with strangers; be it interesting facts, fun places to dine, or perspectives on living a good life. 

Through one of these fun encounters, I was able to experience a concert like no other I have ever been to. I served chips and dip for the MoRub tent, at Simnon Estes amphitheater in Des Moines during a Michael Franti concert. I have heard Michael Franti many times before, I even have some of his music saved on Spotify. Prior to seeing him live however, I often skipped these songs when they popped up on shuffle. There is no way I will ever do that again. Michael has catchy, feel-good tunes, but during his performance his radiant love and beauty were so overpowering that the ambiance literally brought me to tears!!! It was a spiritual experience that moved an entire crowd of strangers to hug each other. To witness and be a part of it was amazing. I knew some force had brought me to the right place at the right time when he dedicated a song to everyone who wanted to work toward saving the rivers, lakes, and oceans! It was a magical experience and a catalyst in ending my slump.

Life lately has been interesting to say the least, and I know with my upcoming trip to Rhode Island and big move approaching, my state of perpetual flux will be off the charts! But I am excited to have and share those adventures, so keep your eyes peeled for another post soon! I have attached links to a book discussion on the book I mentioned, “Man’s Search for Meaning,” a link for Michael Franti’s website in case you are interested in learning more, a link to the MoRub site because you gotta help your people out and their products are absolutely delish, and a link to the images of Simon Estes because it is a beautiful place!

Until Next Time :]

Book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4069.Man_s_Search_for_Meaning

Michael Franti: https://www.michaelfranti.com/

MoRub: https://morub.com/

Simon Estes Ampitheater: https://www.google.com/search?q=simon+estes+amphitheater&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjo-Ouu5PrVAhUq34MKHcpCCXgQ_AUICygC&biw=1295&bih=747

P.S. If you would like to be on my list of people that receive sporadic postcards, comment or message me your name and address!!